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I will still rise.

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 19 Aug 2016   Posted by Cheryl Tay


I was thrown into a bout of despair and darkness the past few months and I’m not afraid to admit that I struggled really badly, nearly giving up on myself and the things that mattered to me. As I watched my world collapse around me, I thought of giving up triathlons, I thought of selling my precious customised pink bike that I’m so proud of… I was at rock bottom. I let myself sink, I allowed myself to surrender to the pain and at one point I thought I would never recover. (Bullshit.)

Close friends were rallying around me and pulling me up, but they could only help me as much as I wanted to help myself. It hurt them to see me so distraught, it pained them to see the confident Cheryl fall to her knees. But those who mattered never gave up on me, they kept egging me on; they knew I would come around.

I know that everyone is struggling with their own battles, but somehow when we are fighting our own, we tend to slip into self-absorption and disregard others. I am ashamed to say that in that period of loss, I neglected the people who needed me. Then one day in the midst of all the self-pity, I realised HEY, if I want to keep being strong for others, I need to be strong myself and not stay down for too long.

And so I rose.

The pain is still there but I’ve learnt to cope. The struggle is real but I’m not afraid of it. Look, it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok for the strong to have their weak moments. I’m not saying you cannot crumble – you can, yes you definitely can. But rise you must, soar above the clouds and come back stronger than ever. Eventually, it’s gonna be ok.

People from the Rock The Naked Truth community reach out to me and I have to love myself first before I can help them and fully give love to them. I can’t let them down. I’m their Mama C.

So I learnt –

Before you give to others, you must first be filled yourself with your heart full. Love yourself truly, be proud of who you are, believe that you have what it takes. Only when you have filled your tank, you can then go on and give to others and make the world a better place. It has to come from within.

Sometimes we are surrounded by so much love but we fail to receive it fully because we choose to put on a cloak of darkness over our eyes. Don’t do that. Open your eyes and take a look around; embrace all the love, gratitude and positivity in their entirety. You deserve every bit of love given to you – don’t ever feel you are not worthy. ‘Cause you are, you freaking are.

I’m the kind that never goes down without a fight – I fight strongly for the people and the things I believe in, even if the odds are stacked against me, even if it means becoming exhausted to the core, even if it means being pushed to the end.

But you know what? The hardest part is not in the battle, but when to draw the line and back out. You’re not giving up; you’re just protecting yourself. Recognise when your time in someone’s life is up and walk away proud, knowing you have done everything you could, that you have done your best. Focus on the people who deserve your energy, effort and time.

There’s no victory or defeat here, just self-preservation.

Thereafter, take these scars as reminders of the lessons learnt. Use the experiences you have gained and lend support to others who are going deeper down the rabbit hole. Your past is worth more than all the pain you carried before. This hurt that you survived can now be used to console and strengthen other suffering souls. One day you will see these trials and tribulations are necessary in helping you pay it forward.

Allow yourself to change, allow yourself to evolve.

As you collect more of such life experiences, you will grow and develop to the next level. Your heart will realise that at some stages in life, you deserve something different from what you once wanted. Go on and change your appearance – get a new hairstyle (like I did), change your wardrobe (like I did), commit yourself to a sport (like I did). If these things help you to love yourself better, then don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Keep empowering yourself and fall back in love with yourself.

iwillstilrisecover

When your self-esteem is low, you attract toxicity and you end up thinking you don’t deserve more. Cut that shit out. In today’s harsh society that thrives on our insecurities, the best retort to that is to love yourself even more. You don’t have to do what’s expected of you, you don’t have to hang on to someone else’s words. You go and discover what sets your heart on fire and start pursuing your dreams again.

There is nothing wrong with starting over – go on and push the reboot button.

Self-love is the key to finding your own happiness, without being dependent on others for validation. Self-love is being able to stand on your own feet not just in good times, but especially in bad times. Self-love is being whole and not needing someone to make you complete. Self-love is recognising that your self-worth is from strength within and not reliant on others. Dig deep to find the strength from within and you will be surprised at how strong you actually are. YOU are worth it. YOU can do it. Just do you; find your own happiness. And don’t let anyone take that away from you.

Those who matter will lift you up and embrace your change. Growth is a journey, not an end point. Allow yourself to be who you have always wanted to be and don’t let anyone eclipse your personality or disrupt your path to greatness.

Lastly – always, always remember to look around and embrace all the love being given to you, by friends and family who believe in you. There is no shame in leaning on others for support and finding strength in them. I made a promise to the Rock The Naked Truth community that I will never give up on them and this is a pledge I will see through to the end, as we grow together.

So to all who never stopped believing in me, thank you for teaching me to find courage in times and places I never thought possible. I’ve got your back too – and we will rise together as one.

It’s been rough, but one day at a time, this too shall pass.

And I will still rise.

“One day it just clicks. You realise what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think and more about what you think of yourself. You realise how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.”

Here are two songs that empowered me and I just wanted to share them with you:

1) Katy Perry – Rise
2) CHC – Rise Again

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  • About Cheryl Tay

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    First establishing herself in the world of cars and motorsports, Cheryl Tay is a sports and fitness blogger who advocates living an active and healthy lifestyle. Founder of body image movement Rock The Naked Truth, Cheryl overcame over a decade of eating disorders and is now passionate about helping people with similar struggles. She also has a running club ROCKrunners and a tri-enthusiast club ROCKtri.

    Rock The Naked Truth encourages others to be comfortable in their own skin and to learn that there is more to life than just being a slave to the numbers on your scale. Truly, life has more meaning than just forcing yourself to look good - it's most important to be happy and feel good about yourself!

    Previously...
    > Fitness columnist for Yahoo! Sports
    > Founder of ELITE (fitness competition)
    > Motoring writer for TODAY
    > Columnist for Rev / Run magazines
    > Official photographer for ONE Championship
    > Media manager for Formula Drift Asia
    > PR manager for PETRONAS Syntium Team
    > Business development for Kartright Speedway
    > F1 youth speaker for Singapore GP
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  • cheryltaysg

    Work hard but remember to set aside time for leisu Work hard but remember to set aside time for leisure too! It has taken me 35 years to find a decent work-life balance, between work, play, fitness and personal.

I used to be a full-on workaholic, working every day till late, eating rubbish and not exercising. And then I was trying not to eat so I could be skinny. And then I would fall very ill when my body snaps because I wasn't resting enough.

I've since learnt that we need to take care of ourselves properly, because work is important yes, but the effects of overworking and too much stress are very detrimental, especially in the long term.

Quality of life, always remember to enjoy quality of life!

P.S. Little Oli's face is everything!

#beachday #bikiniempire
    Been a while since I’ve gone on the ground to sh Been a while since I’ve gone on the ground to shoot and report on sports! I love watching sports and this has been such an amazing experience.

I can't help tearing up when I see dreams being made and broken. These SEA Games athletes are fighting so hard and leaving nothing behind. You can see the highs, the lows and the unexpected.

The emotions in sports are so raw and pure, and that's why I love sports. You can't cheat the feelings.

Go Team Singapore!!!

#sportplussg #seagames2021 #seagames #sportphotography #teamsingapore
    TOP 5 TIPS TO SAVE WATER! Tip #1: Cut your shower TOP 5 TIPS TO SAVE WATER!

Tip #1: Cut your shower time by 1 minute and save 9 litres of water.

Tip #2: Save 11 litres of water when you rinse your teeth with a mug instead of using a running tap.

Tip #3: Use reduced flush for liquid waste and save 1.5 litres per flush. 

Tip #4: Save 14 litres when you wash vegetables and dishes in a filled sink instead of under a running tap.

Tip #5: Do not use the washing machine for just a few pieces of clothing.

Did you know that the BMW Group powers production of two of their electric vehicles, the BMW iX and BMW i4, entirely with regional green hydroelectricity?

We recently went down to the NEWater Visitor Centre and learnt a lot about water conservation. There are also a lot of mind-blowing facts - pre-COVID, we use 145 litres of water per person per day (as seen in this photo), but during the pandemic when everyone was home, that number went up to 158 litres 😱😱😱.

Watch the video to learn more mind-blowing facts!
    Got to hang with @sweetvarnvarn this week! She is Got to hang with @sweetvarnvarn this week! She is really fun, friendly and I wish we had more time to go out and play. Next time! Perhaps I need to go to Thailand hmmm...
    WE FINALLY HAVE A DATE FOR OUR WEDDING! This is s WE FINALLY HAVE A DATE FOR OUR WEDDING!

This is super exciting, after all the hurdles we have had to overcome. From being turned away by venues, to not being able to do a wedding because it has to be ROM registered due to COVID-19 restrictions, to finally, finally being able to hold our wedding because private events are now allowed.

YAYYYYYY!!!

Our union may not be legally recognised in Singapore, but we still want to get our nearest and dearest together in the name of love. Can't wait to celebrate our love and share this special occasion with y'all!

P.S. for those asking, we will get our paperwork done somewhere overseas at some point.

#TaykeMeHuangMoreTime

Gown: @thegownwarehouse
Suit: @stitchedsg
Makeup: @clarasongmakeup
    What a wet weekend! Got drenched while riding yest What a wet weekend! Got drenched while riding yesterday and then ran in the light rain today.

But I didn't mind today's run at all because it was a bagel run! That is, we ran from home to CBD to get breakfast. Today we got bagels!

And then cabbed home, not run home, in case you're wondering lol.

#RoadToBerlinMarathon #wetweather #runintherain #runtobreakfast #iloverunning
    Bikini Empire beach day, extended pack! Thank good Bikini Empire beach day, extended pack! Thank goodness we had such good weather yesterday and also happy that we don't have group size limits anymore!

I love that we can bring our dogs to @olabeachclubsg so that they can hang with us, nawwwwww.

Swipe to see all the nonsense we were up to!
    If you know me, I love my snacks - A LOT. And some If you know me, I love my snacks - A LOT. And sometimes the guilt does get to me. So I'm glad that I have found plant-based snacks, without the guilt, with the same pleasure. This really helps as I'm trying to cut down on the bad stuff as my training picks up. These Nuggets, Bites and Strips are from FIRST PRIDE and are entirely made of plants. Best part, they taste like the real thing. Whuuuttttttt!

These have a three-step coating so it has maximum crispiness, meat-like texture made from plants so they feel like your usual nuggets and they have 0% trans fat. You won't even realise they are made from plants honestly. In addition, they make for a good source of protein and fibre.

Available at FairPrice, CS Fresh, Giant and RedMart, these are going at a promo price of $6.95 per packet (from 12 – 25 May). More details at @firstpridesg!

#FIRSTPRIDESG #SOOOGOOD
    New HM PB!! Put on a little bib for the first time New HM PB!! Put on a little bib for the first time in over two years for the Shufflers invitational half-marathon event and omg I was feeling a bit nervous, so silly.

It was more of a time trial than a race for me (because I wasn't gonna win) so I just focused on pacing and running my best.

Man, it really hurt! I haven't been running this distance much, so by the 18km mark my legs started to fade and I could see my pace dropping.

But I've already come so far, so I just sucked it up and somehow managed to make it to the end.

Really happy with my time - my fastest HM ever I think. Woohoo! Thank you to the organisers for the effort and to the volunteers who made this event run so smoothly.

Woke up this morning with sore legs but with a silly grin on my face, because I've missed this feeling!

144 days to Berlin Marathon.

#roadtoberlinmarathon #bmwxcheryltay #halfmarathon
    It costs $0.00 to be grateful for what you already It costs $0.00 to be grateful for what you already have. Stop looking for greener grass - the grass is only green where you water it!

#showgratitude #beachday
    You probably have seen this photoshoot that I rece You probably have seen this photoshoot that I recently did for @shiseidopro_official, where I was very fortunate to have had a team of professionals glam me up for this.

1 hair stylist, 2 make up artists, 2 stylists, 1 photographer + assistant, and of course the client team and the agency team. Totally made me feel like a superstar for a day!

You know what? The younger me would have killed for this opportunity.  I suffered from various eating disorders so I could become skinny and I really, really wanted to become a model.

Swipe to see my journal entry where I talked about how badly I wanted to be one and get in print ads and do TVCs, how I still felt I wasn't skinny enough, and how insecure I felt about myself. It's crazy!

Oh if I could talk to my 21-year-old self I would tell her how amazing she is and how she doesn't have to be skinny and become a model to prove her self-worth. Somehow I kept thinking that if I became thin, I would be better accepted and being a model would validate my existence. No gurlllll you already are enough!

BONUS - swipe to see some of my photos from my modelling days back then. WHO IS DIZ?! I did get some jobs here and there, but they weren't big jobs. @thehuangergames had a good laugh at these pics, but hey we were all young once ok!

#rockthenakedtruth #loveyourself #bodypositivity #selfworth #theyoungerme #throwback
    I used to hate my legs, thinking they were thick a I used to hate my legs, thinking they were thick and huge and ugly. I hated how my shorts would keep riding up between my legs because I have no thigh gap. I hated how I looked terrible in short shorts because my legs just looked fat.

But now I'm proud of these legs. They can do so many things and right now they are training for a marathon, on top of achieving many other things that I like to do like cycling and swimming and wakesurfing and taking long walks.

So don't hate your legs or any part of your body. It's yours!! It doesn't have to look a certain way because who gets to decide how it should look?!

#thiccplease #rockthenakedtruth #nothighgap
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Swipe to see what I'm talking about.

Still, always happy for time spent with these siao zhabors!

#beachday #bikinigirls #sunsandsea #blueskies #fitgirls #bikinitime
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This hair colour formula is developed for Asian hair and has COLOR-in-CORE Technology that locks the colour into the core, so it really brings out the shade you want. I also like how my hair does not feel dry at all, which is a big thing for me when I colour my hair.

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#ShiseidoProfessionalSG #PRIMIENCE #ULTIST #BeautyStreamSS2022 #SpectralAllure 
#TogetherWithBeautyCreators #BeautyCreators
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For starters, the new Civic has a cleaner look but the interior is where the difference is greater. The cabin ambience feels more upmarket now, with premium features like wireless charging, a bigger 9” screen that sits atop the dashboard and a honeycomb mesh that runs through the dashboard and conceals the aircon vents.

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But I feel the biggest thing to note about this 11th-gen Civic is the range of safety tech features. It has adaptive cruise control, lane keeping assist to prevent you from veering out of your lane, collision mitigation braking that alerts when you get too close to the vehicle ahead, and something called the LaneWatch system which essentially is a camera under the mirror of the passenger door that shows you what is in your blind spot when you are turning left. With all of these, you have less excuse for bad driving behaviour.

I definitely enjoyed this zippy drive and I had a lot of fun!

Engine: 1,498cc turbocharged inline 4
Power: 129PS at 5500-6000rpm
Torque: 180Nm at 1700-4500rpm
Transmission: Continuously Variable
0-100km/h: 10.5 seconds
Price: S$143,999 with COE*

*A low downpayment option is available, starting from only S$14,400. You may leave your details at https://bit.ly/11-CivicSG to find out more.

#HondaCivic #Civic #Builtaroundyou #KahMotor @honda_sg
    Rented a motorbike for a week just for fun, before Rented a motorbike for a week just for fun, before I start my Class 2 lessons next month. Oh how I've missed the feeling of the wind on my face! And of course it has to be a sports bike. Can't afford a sports car so sports bike it is!

Taking my motorbike licence at such a late age in life feels like some kind of mid-life crisis for a need for speed you know hahaha. I first took 2B lessons in 2010 but gave up then, which I regretted, but it's ok NEVER TOO LATE!!

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🙌🙌🙌

#wakesurfing #blueskies #watersports #dreamwakeacademy #fitgirls
    Saturday night boxing! Was wondering if I would r Saturday night boxing!

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    After two rained-out Saturday mornings, we finally After two rained-out Saturday mornings, we finally made it out to ride with @teamfugu!

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📷: @tubberchubbs
    Excited to announce that I'll be racing the BMW Be Excited to announce that I'll be racing the BMW Berlin Marathon this year!

2022 is the year I'm on a mission to do better - for myself, the environment and those in need.

I'll be representing BMW Group Asia in the BMW Berlin Marathon, which is a World Marathon Major and the exclusive slots are usually via ballot. It will be my first WMM and I'll also be raising funds for the National Cancer Centre Singapore.

I recognise that environmental and social sustainability are essential for our future, so to do better for the environment, I'll be embarking on beach clean-ups and other conservation activities with BMW Group Asia and you can join us too. Stay tuned for more updates on how you can do your part.

It's gonna be an exciting year, I can feel it!!

Come on, do it with me and make this year YOUR year as well. Time to set some goals!

Shot by @jerrytangcl
Edited by @thehuangergames

#berlinmarathon #bmwgroupasia
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