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I admit I’m a workaholic. I’m always on my phone checking emails or bashing away on my laptop rushing deadlines. Besides travelling and running around for meetings or events, I spend a considerable amount of time at the computer.

When I’m on vacation (including staycations), I need to spend a couple of hours in the morning before going out and at night before I go to bed. My mind is always on work, reminding myself of what I have to do or suddenly remembering what I need to do. My Sundays are spent from morning to night at the computer clearing work and I don’t sleep well when I know there’s something due urgently.

In fact, my past relationships have failed due to work-related reasons, even going to the extent of being given an ultimatum to choose between work or them because they felt that work was more important than them. I strongly believe work and love can go together, so I have now taken greater effort to achieve a better work-life balance.

My current partner has patiently tolerated my workaholic ways and slowly tried to help me, instead of forcing or nagging me to stop working. In the past four months, I fell very ill twice – once I coughed out blood and the second time I was knocked out for four days, where I was so weak I just slept 20 hours each day. That’s when I realised I better not push it too far – health is something that money cannot ever buy back.

Ultimately, when you’re on your deathbed, trust me – you wouldn’t be thinking of what you have achieved in life or what you could have done better at work. Instead, you will be thinking of your loved ones who mean the most to you. Don’t end up having regrets of working too hard and not spending enough time with your loved ones. Money is important but it’s not everything.

If you need further convincing that it’s very unhealthy to overwork (you can die from it), read the book “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” or this article on Singapore’s prolific criminal lawyer Subhas Anandan who admits he got his priorities wrong.

These are some of the signs that tell me I’m a workaholic. If most of the following apply to you, then you pretty much are a workaholic too.

1) I take work to bed and to vacation.

When I lie in bed at night, it’s either I’m exhausted from clocking a long day of work, or I would be re-writing my To-Do list or going through my WhatsApp to see what work-related texts I have missed. When I’m on vacation (including staycations), I need to spend a couple of hours in the morning before going out and at night before I go to bed.

2) My mind is constantly on work, even when I sleep.

I don’t sleep well when I know there’s something due urgently and I’ve not completed it. I would end up sleeping only for a few hours and automatically waking up early to start working. I’ve also abruptly jumped up in the middle of the night because I suddenly thought of something I had to do, and I have to get up and write it down somewhere in case it slips my mind when I wake up.

3) I’m always on my phone checking emails or sending work-related texts in WhatsApp.

I know I’m a social media addict, mindlessly scrolling through my feeds on Facebook and Instagram, double-tapping for the sake of it. But most of the time, I’m replying or sending work emails with my phone, or discussing work through WhatsApp.

4) I easily work more than 80 hours a week, including weekends and public holidays.

That’s an average of 12 to 16 hours a day, sometimes even more. I’m glad for weekends and public holidays because my email and phone will be quieter than usual and I can use the time to catch up on my work.

5) I believe it is OK to work long hours because I love my job.

I enjoy what I do, be it writing or taking photos. It is often said that  when you love your work then you never have to work another day. Ha, no matter how much passion you have for your work, you are still human and you cannot escape from fatigue or stress.

6) I derive immense satisfaction from completing work tasks.

There’s nothing more satisfying than ticking off my To-Do list. I have lots of Post-Its in my filofax, with urgent daily tasks,not-so-urgent tasks, do-when-free tasks and more.

7) I get impatient with others when they play down the importance of work.

I know it is important to have a work-life balance and work isn’t everything, but I take a lot of pride in my work and I can’t help getting annoyed when people (especially those close to me) insult my work or slam my work outright. What I’m doing may not be able to afford me a Ferrari but that does not mean it’s not worth doing.

8) My conversations with my partner often revolve around work.

I paid more attention lately to what I’ve been texting my partner and also what our conversational topics revolve around. Not surprising, it’s a lot about my work. I guess it’s a bit tricky for me as I’m a freelancer and there are overlaps between career and leisure, but still, it’s bad if all you talk about with your partner is related to work.

9) My friends and family have given up asking me out.

I don’t even remember when was the last time I went out with friends for non-work purposes, as I often put off friends in order to fulfil work commitments. I’m either travelling or busy running around and catching up on work when I’m back in town. I also can’t remember when the last time I had dinner with my family. Then again, I work from home so I see my family a lot. But it has come to a point where my friends and family are no longer disappointed or upset if I cancel on them.

10) Sometimes I get more excited about my work than about my friends or family.

I am aware that I sometimes take my family for granted to the extent that if given a chance to attend a Formula One race in Monaco over a family holiday on the world’s most luxurious cruise, I would pick the former.

11) I’m afraid I might lose my job if I don’t work hard.

Well, for me it’s more than just a job. I do a range of things and I’m largely driven by passion. However, as a freelancer, income is unstable and the market is unpredictable, thus I find myself working hard when there are opportunities as you never know when you might run out of contracts or clients.

I am proud of how hard I work and I derive a lot of satisfaction from doing what I do. However, this obsession with work has become unhealthy and causing adverse effects to my life, such as poor health, bad skin, low immunity, horrible eating habits and worse, problems in relationships with loved ones.

It’s not too late for me to realise that I’m too much of a workaholic, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna dump everything and run off. If you are in a similar situation, don’t start feeling guilty. It’s great to be committed to your work but we just have to find that balance so we can continue to be motivated. Focusing on work 100% in the long run will send your body into shut-down mode and I’ve been clocking up increasing bills at the doctor’s and dentist’s.

The keyword is moderation.

[Read about the ups and downs of being a freelancer here.]